Category: PTSD

What is Complex PTSD?

Anxiety, Mental Health, PTSD, Trauma

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (sometimes called complex PTSD or c-PTSD), is an anxiety condition that involves many of the same symptoms of PTSD along with other symptoms.

First recognized as a condition that affects war veterans, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can be caused by any number of traumatic events, such as a car accident, natural disaster, near-death experience, or other isolated acts of violence or abuse. 

When the underlying trauma is repeated and ongoing, however, some mental health professionals make a distinction between PTSD and its more intense sibling, complex PTSD (C-PTSD).

Complex PTSD has gained attention in the years since it was first described in the late 1980s. However, it is important to note that it is not recognized as a distinct condition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), the tool that mental health professionals use to diagnose mental health conditions.

Both PTSD and C-PTSD result from the experience of something deeply traumatic and can cause flashbacks, nightmares, and insomnia. Both conditions can also make you feel intensely afraid and unsafe even though the danger has passed. However, despite these similarities, there are characteristics that differentiate C-PTSD from PTSD according to some experts.

The main difference between the two disorders is the frequency of the trauma. While PTSD is caused by a single traumatic event, C-PTSD is caused by long-lasting trauma that continues or repeats for months, even years (commonly referred to as “complex trauma”).

Unlike PTSD, which can develop regardless of what age you are when the trauma occurred, C-PTSD is typically the result of childhood trauma.

When it comes to Complex PTSD, the harmful effects of oppression and racism can add layers to complex trauma experienced by individuals. This is further compounded if the justice system is involved.

The psychological and developmental impacts of complex trauma early in life are often more severe than a single traumatic experience—so different, in fact, that many experts believe that the PTSD diagnostic criteria don’t adequately describe the wide-ranging, long-lasting consequences of C-PTSD.

Symptoms of Complex PTSD:

In addition to all of the core symptoms of PTSD—re-experiencing, avoidance, and hyperarousal—C-PTSD symptoms generally also include:

  • Difficulty controlling emotions. It’s common for someone suffering from C-PTSD to lose control over their emotions, which can manifest as explosive anger, persistent sadness, depression, and suicidal thoughts.4
  • Negative self-view. C-PTSD can cause a person to view themselves in a negative light. They may feel helpless, guilty, or ashamed.5They often have a sense of being completely different from other people.
  • Difficulty with relationships. Relationships may suffer due to difficulties trusting others and a negative self-view.6 A person with C-PTSD may avoid relationships or develop unhealthy relationships because that is what they knew in the past.
  • Detachment from the trauma. A person may disconnect from themselves (depersonalization) and the world around them (derealisation). Some people might even forget their trauma.
  • Loss of a system of meanings. This can include losing one’s core beliefs, values, religious faith, or hope in the world and other people.

All of these symptoms can be life-altering and cause significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational, or other important areas of life.

Anxiety vs. Anxiety Disorders

Anxiety, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Mental Health, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), PTSD, Trauma

In a nutshell, anxiety becomes an anxiety disorder when the anxiety that you are experiencing is greater than what you might expect in a given situation, and when it begins to interfere with some aspect of your life. For example, if your anxiety prevents you from forming desired relationships with people or meeting your responsibilities at work or school, this may be a sign that normal anxiety has shifted to a disorder of anxiety. In addition, if you find that you are engaging in unhealthy behaviors in an attempt to avoid or reduce your anxiety (such as drinking or using drugs), there is a good chance that you have a problem with anxiety.

There are six main anxiety disorders:

Specific Phobia
The first anxiety disorder is specific phobia. In this disorder, people experience such intense fear (even to the point of having a panic attack) when they come into contact with certain objects or situations that they take steps to avoid these objects or situations. Common specific phobias include acrophobia (fear of heights), odontophobia (fear of dentists), arachnophobia (fear of spiders), ophidiophobia (fear of snakes), and claustrophobia (fear of enclosed spaces).

Social Anxiety Disorder
Social anxiety disorder (also called “social phobia”) is another anxiety disorder, in which a person experiences intense fear and anxiety in social situations due to a fear of negative evaluation (for example, being judged). And, just as with specific phobia, this intense fear often results in the avoidance of these social situations. The most common type of situation that people fear in social anxiety disorder is public speaking; however, there are other situations that people with social anxiety disorder may also fear, such as eating in front of people, urinating in public restrooms, or writing in front of people

Panic Disorder
A person with panic disorder experiences frequent, out-­of-­the-blue panic attacks, as well as worry about the meaning or outcome of those panic attacks. For example, people with panic disorder might fear that a panic attack is a sign that they are dying or going crazy. As a result of these panic attacks, people with panic disorder often try to avoid activities or situations that might bring on symptoms of arousal, such as exercise or eating heavy meals. In extreme cases, people with panic disorder may fear leaving home, because it is the only place where they feel safe. If this happens, a person may be diagnosed with panic disorder with agoraphobia.

Obsessive-­Compulsive Disorder
This disorder has received a fair amount of attention in the media recently. In obsessive-­compulsive disorder (OCD), a person experiences intense, intrusive, and repetitive troublesome thoughts and ideas that might be viewed as strange and that are not about real-­life problems. These out-­of-­the-­ordinary thoughts and ideas are called obsessions. For example, people with this disorder may have persistent fears that they are going to accidentally poison their children, catch a disease, or harm someone else. As a result of these obsessions, people with OCD then engage in repetitive behaviors (or compulsions) to reduce the anxiety associated with those obsessions, such as excessive hand washing, ordering, checking, or performing mental rituals (such as counting).

Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is characterized by excessive, persistent, and uncontrollable worry about many different concerns. Sometimes people confuse GAD with OCD because both include the experience of repetitive thoughts. However, worry is different from obsession, because the worry in GAD is about real-­life or daily concerns, such as finances, work, and relationships. Worry in GAD is actually viewed as an attempt to avoid or distract a person from more-­upsetting and anxiety-­provoking thoughts and feelings

Post-­Traumatic Stress Disorder
Finally, post-­traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is unique among the anxiety disorders, because it is the only one that requires people to have experienced some type of traumatic event before they can be diagnosed with it. PTSD is diagnosed when a person experiences a set of symptoms more than thirty days after exposure to a traumatic event. The symptoms of PTSD include intrusive thoughts and memories about the traumatic event (for example, flashbacks or feeling as if the event were happening all over again), avoidance of reminders of the traumatic event, difficulties experiencing positive emotions, feeling detached from others, and hyperarousal and hypervigilance (or always feeling on guard). If someone experiences these symptoms within one month after a traumatic event, we call the disorder acute stress disorder.

Sources: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Anxiety

Dealing With Trauma Triggers

Anxiety, Flashbacks, Mental Health, PTSD, Trauma, Triggers

Most of us are aware of the larger trauma triggers. We can recognize some of the people, places, and things that harmed us, and do our best to avoid them all. For example, if our trauma had something to do with the beach we can avoid any area with sand or any sounds of the beach. We can sit down with our therapist and make a list of all of the things that we know trigger our trauma response or bring us back to those frightening events. But what about the unconscious triggers? The ones we don’t recognize, and often find upsetting us, pulling us into flashbacks and causing us to dissociate.

National PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) Awareness Day

Anxiety, Mental Health, My Schiz Life, PTSD, Trauma

It’s National PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) Awareness Day! Please don’t tell someone just to get over it that it’s in the past or they can’t allow it to define them! Do you honestly think they haven’t tried that? So what does that mean, what are the symptoms…

—> Intrusive memories

~ Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event
~ Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks)
~ Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event
~ Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event

—> Avoidance

~ Trying to avoid thinking or talking about the traumatic event
~ Avoiding places, activities or people that remind you of the traumatic event

—> Negative changes in thinking and mood

~ Negative thoughts about yourself, other people or the world
~ Hopelessness about the future
~ Memory problems, including not remembering important aspects of the traumatic event
~ Difficulty maintaining close relationships
~ Feeling detached from family and friends
~ Lack of interest in activities you once enjoyed
~ Difficulty experiencing positive emotions
~ Feeling emotionally numb

—> Changes in physical and emotional reactions

~ Being easily startled or frightened
~ Always being on guard for danger
~ Self-destructive behavior, such as drinking too much or driving too fast
~ Trouble sleeping
~ Trouble concentrating
~ Irritability, angry outbursts or aggressive behavior
~ Overwhelming guilt or shame

Schizophrenia and Trauma

Mental Health, PTSD, Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizophrenia, Trauma

Trauma and psychosis can each derail a person’s daily life by causing mental and physical disturbances which significantly disrupt even basic day-to-day functioning and skills. When experienced together, they can wreak emotional and mental havoc if left untreated.

When the onset of a psychotic disorder like schizophrenia happens to occur after a traumatic event, it can be tempting to blame the development of the former on the occurrence of the latter. Causality is comforting, in a way—being able to answer the larger question of why your loved one is living with the symptoms and challenges they currently face is somehow less daunting than having no answer at all.

What causes Schizophrenia?

Scientists identify a variety of causes and risk factors for schizophrenia. Research shows the disorder is brought on by a combination of neurological, genetic and environmental factors, including life experience. Schizophrenics have an imbalance of the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin in their brains, which is why they are often prescribed antipsychotic drugs. There may also be a genetic component; the risk factor of one person developing schizophrenia goes up if other close blood relations have been diagnosed with it.

Other factors which play a part in the development of schizophrenia include psychoactive drugs, such as methamphetamines or LSD. These drugs can cause brain damage, psychotic episodes, or trigger a schizophrenic onset.

Childhood factors may also affect onset and development. Fetuses exposed to malnutrition or viral infections in the womb may have a higher chance of getting schizophrenia. And childhood trauma can significantly change how children’s brains and thought processes develop and affect their adult lives.

Can trauma cause Schizophrenia?

While the jury is still out on whether trauma directly causes schizophrenia, according to research conducted by the University of Liverpool, children who experienced trauma before the age of 16 were about three times more likely to become psychotic in adulthood than those who were randomly selected. The more severe the trauma, the greater the likelihood of developing illness in later life. They even found indications that the type of trauma experienced may determine what specific psychotic symptoms will manifest themselves later on.

It is also certainly true that trauma which occurs after the onset of schizophrenia can exacerbate psychotic symptoms—especially if it leads to the development of a co-occurring trauma disorder, such as PTSD. Separately, these conditions can pose serious challenges to a person’s ability to live a “normal” life—together, they can become overwhelming and debilitating without proper care and support.

Source: BrightQuest

Shards of My Soul

Flashbacks, Nightmares / Night Terrors, Poetry, Sexual Assault, Trauma

You left the broken shards of my soul,

Scattered in the dirt, in the filth,

I did not ask for the gift you bestowed upon me,

“Fuck You,” my lover, my sweet rapist.

The revulsion your memory conjures up,

Consumes me with a need to wretch,

The callousness of your existence,

“Fuck You,” my lover, my sweet rapist.

The trickle of my blood down the length of the blade,

The knife you hold to my quaking throat,

The heat of your body behind me,

“Fuck You,” my lover, my sweet rapist.

I gasp staring up at you my mouth slightly agape,

I know what you desire, what you require of me,

A shiver, I slowly nod closing my eyes,

“Fuck You,” my lover, my sweet rapist.

I bite my lower lip my body jerking in revulsion,

Your cruel commands echo in my mind,

I indolently open my mouth and swallow,

“Fuck You,” my lover, my sweet molester.

“Ugh,” I groan through a kick in my ribs,

Painfully I crawl back to my hands and knees,

My head jerked back by my hair so I smell your breath,

“Fuck You,” my lover, my sweet rapist.

I know what you need as you kick my knees apart,

I won’t succumb that easily,

What you will not have offered, you shall take by force,

“Fuck You,” my lover, my sweet rapist.

I bite my tongue, my mouth filling with blood,

The ravishing of my body has begun in earnest,

The blood trickles down my chin as tears swell,

“Fuck You,” my lover, my sweet rapist.

The burning inside me makes my stomach churn,

My eyes clenched shut in revulsion,

The flames inside me grow as they burn,

“Fuck You,” my lover, my sweet rapist.

Your grunts sound rapidly in earnest,

What you have needed these long hours is almost here,

Your sharp slaps of my ribcage loudly echo,

“Thank You,” my lover, my sweet…

Flashbacks

Flashbacks, Mental Health, My Schiz Life, Nightmares / Night Terrors, Poetry, PTSD, Trauma

My heart races, my palms sweat,

A sigh, a gasp, a moment stollen in silence,

Memories of a dark night long past.

My body quakes, my heart breaks,

Ripping me from my tranquil slumber,

I scratch at the fragments of my reality.

My ashen face soaked in tears,

Your arms pull me into a warm embrace,

Your caresses begin to calm my torment.

“Sweetie I’m here,” you whisper,

Your hand runs through my soaked hair,

The softness of your lips upon my cheek.

The tears are flowing easily now,

Your strokes attempt to calm, to comfort me,

The visions of that night endlessly haunt me.

“You’re safe here with me,” you whisper,

I look up gazing into your caring eyes,

A forced smile crosses my face.

Visions of my eternal nightmare plague me,

Sweetly you wipe the tears from my eyes,

Your lips gently press into my own.

Inhaling your breath awakens my senses,

My arms reach up, slipping around you,

Harder your kiss penetrates my nightmare.

A hand caresses my cheek as your lips part,

A taste of you upon my lips,

I know I am safe with you, my dear love.

Safe at last from the eternal nightmare,

Sheltered within your arms,

Our souls entwined in the intimacy of a kiss.

You my love, you have made all the difference,

A world of sorrow, of self imposed isolation,

Broken down, shared with you my true love.

The Sins of my Past Conceived and Made Flesh

Mental Health, Poetry, PTSD, Sexual Assault, Trauma

The Sins of my Past Conceived and Made Flesh

I wince reliving the same nightmare dreamscape,

Night sweats, daydreaming, wake up – I cry panting for breath,

My jaws are locked open in a silent scream,

A call for help which is destined never to be answered,

Tears of consciousness cascade down my face,

A procession of nightmares flood my tightly clenched eyes,

Haunts me – over and over, I relive the visions,

They are who I was, who I am, who I will become.

Trailhead

Mental Health, My Schiz Life, Poetry, PTSD, Sexual Assault, Trauma

I gasp through the blood-caked lips of the sins of my past,
I wince reliving the same nightmare dreamscape,
The nightmare haunts me – over and over, I relive the visions,
The visions of my past indiscretions, visions I cannot deny –
They are who I was, who I am, who I will become.

A gasp, night sweats, daydreaming,
The knife blade caresses my throat,
The weight on the small of my back makes me wince,
My head jerked back, fingernails dig into my scalp,
My hair Entwined amongst grating fingers.

The foulness of his breath permeates my senses,
Nightmare tears of my consciousness cascade down my face,
His breath bathes my skin…filling every pore,
The breathing becomes short and rapid,
My mind preoccupied with pulsating groans.

My jaws are locked open in a silent scream,
A call for help which is destined never to be answered,
The sweat of my shame permeates my soul,
The tears of my horror drench my face,
The sins of my past conceived and made flesh.

A procession of nightmares flood my tightly clenched eyes,
Acquaintances of my past occupy the room,
I inhale deeply melting into the chair,
The room spins and liquefies,
Visions of my friends melt from my consciousness.

My eyes strain to conjure the acquaintances of my past,
A nightmare gaze fills my senses with the scene,
A close friend, a needle impaling her vein,
I strain as she fades from my sight, my reality,
A slap of the face, tears well in my eyes.

I scream into a silent non-listening void,
Wake up, I cry panting for breath,
My tears soak her cheeks during a final embrace,
Her pulse slowly fades in my arms,
Stop please wait, don’t fade away.

The sins of my past weigh down on my soul,
Each day I fight through the memories,
The reality of my past makes up who I am,
I clench my eyes tightly shut,
A sigh, a breath – moments from my past.

Night Terrors

Mental Health, My Schiz Life, Poetry, PTSD, Schizoaffective Disorder

Struggling to sleep – the night is an all too familiar refrain,
The ceaseless conversations overwhelming my mind,
His voice always piercing, always breaking through the din,
The laugh always mocking who I was, who I’ve become,
That face ever taunting, ever gloating, always judging,
I blink imploring for some release, some distraction,
Alas the eternal vision persists, mocking my sanity,
The eyes glaring, judging, satisfied at what I’ve become,
“Shut up!” The laugh, never allowing me a moment of solitude,
Clenching my eyes the eternal vision persists,
Failure, pathetic, weak – the labels swirl in my unquiet mind.

Lurching my body upright I stare through the blackness,
My breathing is short, shallow and tight in my chest,
My hands trembling, my eyes consumed with horror,
Swallowing hard I sense the ever present knife,
This time not a razor-edge between life and death,
But a choice between life and his domination of my sanity,
Why do I let him control my decisions, make me so weak,
How is it I make choices simply to defy the bastard,
Why am I overwhelmed with guilt and shame,
Every time I ask for help, set foot in the therapist’s office,
How is it that I believe he has won over me.