Category: Mental Health
Tulips – Sylvia Plath
One of my favorite poems by those who died too young:
Sylvia Plath died in London, England, on this day in 1963 (Suicide, aged 30)
Tulips – Sylvia Plath (18 March 1961)
The tulips are too excitable, it is winter here.
“Look how white everything is, how quiet, how snowed-in.
I am learning peacefulness, lying by myself quietly
As the light lies on these white walls, this bed, these hands.
I am nobody; I have nothing to do with explosions.
I have given my name and my day-clothes up to the nurses
And my history to the anesthetist and my body to surgeons.
They have propped my head between the pillow and the sheet-cuff
Like an eye between two white lids that will not shut.
Stupid pupil, it has to take everything in.
The nurses pass and pass, they are no trouble,
They pass the way gulls pass inland in their white caps,
Doing things with their hands, one just the same as another,
So it is impossible to tell how many there are.
My body is a pebble to them, they tend it as water
Tends to the pebbles it must run over, smoothing them gently.
They bring me numbness in their bright needles, they bring me sleep.
Now I have lost myself I am sick of baggage———
My patent leather overnight case like a black pillbox,
“My husband and child smiling out of the family photo;
Their smiles catch onto my skin, little smiling hooks.
I have let things slip, a thirty-year-old cargo boat
Stubbornly hanging on to my name and address.
They have swabbed me clear of my loving associations.
Scared and bare on the green plastic-pillowed trolley
I watched my teaset, my bureaus of linen, my books
Sink out of sight, and the water went over my head.
I am a nun now, I have never been so pure.
I didn’t want any flowers, I only wanted
To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty.
How free it is, you have no idea how free———
The peacefulness is so big it dazes you,
And it asks nothing, a name tag, a few trinkets.
It is what the dead close on, finally; I imagine them
Shutting their mouths on it, like a Communion tablet.
The tulips are too red in the first place, they hurt me.
Even through the gift paper I could hear them breathe
Lightly, through their white swaddlings, like an awful baby.
Their redness talks to my wound, it corresponds.
They are subtle: they seem to float, though they weigh me down,
Upsetting me with their sudden tongues and their color,
A dozen red lead sinkers round my neck.
Nobody watched me before, now I am watched.
The tulips turn to me, and the window behind me
Where once a day the light slowly widens and slowly thins,
And I see myself, flat, ridiculous, a cut-paper shadow
Between the eye of the sun and the eyes of the tulips,
And I have no face, I have wanted to efface myself.
The vivid tulips eat my oxygen.
Before they came the air was calm enough,
Coming and going, breath by breath, without any fuss.
Then the tulips filled it up like a loud noise.
Now the air snags and eddies round them the way a river
Snags and eddies round a sunken rust-red engine.
They concentrate my attention, that was happy
Playing and resting without committing itself.
The walls, also, seem to be warming themselves.
The tulips should be behind bars like dangerous animals;
They are opening like the mouth of some great African cat,
And I am aware of my heart: it opens and closes
Its bowl of red blooms out of sheer love of me.
The water I taste is warm and salt, like the sea,
And comes from a country far away as health.
With God On Our Side – Bob Dylan
Bob Dylan / 7:08
Musician: Bob Dylan: vocals, guitar, harmonica
Recording Studio: Columbia Recording Studios / Studio A, New York: August 6 and 7, 1963
The melody of “With God on Our Side” closely resembles that of “The Patriot Game,” a song written by Dominic Behan, a songwriter fighting alongside the IRA (Irish Republican Army). Its title explicitly refers to St. Paul’s Epistle to the Romans: “If God is for us, who can be against us?”
Based on St. Paul’s teaching, the lyrics radically questioned American history and, beyond that, all wars of the last century. The message was clear: if you believed the history books, the nations that triumphed were those that supposedly had God on their side. “Oh the history books tell it / They tell it so well / The cavalries charged / The Indians fell / The cavalries charged / The Indians died / Oh the country was young / With God on its side,” Dylan sang.
Surely, Dylan condemned those who claimed divine intervention to justify their murderous missions—who were, at the same time, those who wrote history. Did the Yankees have God on their side when they defeated the Confederates? The songwriter recalled a few facts that obscured the official discourse. The lines “Though they murdered six million / In the ovens they fried / The Germans now too / Have God on their side” let us understand that Germany, twenty years after World War II, was now on the side of freedom, under the benevolent influence of the United States. Then in the second to last verse, Dylan forced the listener to take sides concerning “That Jesus Christ / Was betrayed by a kiss / But I can’t think for you / You’ll have to decide / Whether Judas Iscariot / Had God on his side.” Once again, the criticism stung: it was addressed not so much to religious congregations as to political leaders and opinion makers who carried out wars in the name of God.
Oh my name it ain’t nothin’
My age it means less
The country I come from
Is called the Midwest
I was taught and brought up there
The laws to abide
And that land that I live in
Has God on its side
Oh, the history books tell it
They tell it so well
The cavalries charged
The Indians fell
The cavalries charged
The Indians died
Oh, the country was young
With God on its side
The Spanish-American
War had its day
And the Civil War, too
Was soon laid away
And the names of the heroes
I was made to memorize
With guns in their hands
And God on their side
The First World War, boys
It came and it went
The reason for fighting
I never did get
But I learned to accept it
Accept it with pride
For you don’t count the dead
When God’s on your side
The Second World War
Came to an end
We forgave the Germans
And then we were friends
Though they murdered six million
In the ovens they fried
The Germans now, too
Have God on their side
I’ve learned to hate the Russians
All through my whole life
If another war comes
It’s them we must fight
To hate them and fear them
To run and to hide
And accept it all bravely
With God on my side
But now we got weapons
Of chemical dust
If fire them, we’re forced to
Then fire, them we must
One push of the button
And a shot the world wide
And you never ask questions
When God’s on your side
Through many a dark hour
I’ve been thinkin’ about this
That Jesus Christ was
Betrayed by a kiss
But I can’t think for you
You’ll have to decide
Whether Judas Iscariot
Had God on his side.
So now as I’m leavin’
I’m weary as Hell
The confusion I’m feelin’
Ain’t no tongue can tell
The words fill my head
And fall to the floor
That if God’s on our side
He’ll stop the next war
Source: Bob Dylan: All The Songs
Psilocybin
Psilocybin, like mescaline, is extracted from a plant. Psilocybin is extracted from Psilocybe mexicana, a small mushroom that grows in wet or marshy pastures. Other species of mushrooms which have psychedelic qualities are: Conocybe siliginoides, Psilocybe aztecorum, P. zapotecorum, P. caerulescens, and Stropharia cubenis.
Psilocybin, like peyote, was and is still used to a small degree in the religious rites of the Mexican Indians. It was referred to as teonanactl, or in English as God’s flesh. The Indians usually eat between 10 and 15 mushrooms, which, like peyote, have a very unpleasant acrid smell. Usually nausea follows ingestion. The effects of psilocybin last for about five to seven hours.
When you take the actual raw mushrooms, the dosage is about 10 to 20 medium-sized buttons. A faster method of ingestion is to prepare a soup, using any regular mushroom soup recipe. Although this tends to increase the speed in which the psilocybin enters the blood stream, it also increases the unpleasant taste and smell. When taking synthesized psilocybin, usually a capsule of between 20 and 60 milligrams will produce a four- to six-hour trip.
Sources: The Anarchist Cookbook,
Drug and Drinking Cultures
Drug culture is a subculture of popular culture, it represents the principles, patterns, physicality, hierarchy and behavior within a group of individuals with substance use disorders. We see drug culture in various movies, television shows, music, etc. Drug culture has a hierarchy, dependent on your role in the community of drug users; you can be a drug synthesizer, supplier, dealer, and user. Drug culture is made up of socialization, values, rules, gender roles and relationships, symbols and images, dress, language and communication, and attitudes. In addition to drug cultures, there are also drinking cultures. Think college sororities and fraternities, where it is a part of their culture to drink in massive quantities, supports binge drinking, reinforces denial, develops rituals and customary behaviors around drinking (Center for Substance Abuse Treatment).
Many people turn to subcultures like drug and drinking cultures as a source of social support and cultural activities that make these people feel like they belong somewhere, or “fit in.” The danger of subcultures like these is the toleration and promotion of harmful activities like using drugs and alcohol to socialize. Socializing no longer becomes the objective, but using drugs and alcohol together becomes the objective— with socialization being an after effect. A lot of anti-social behavior is supported, which includes: opposition to authority, rule-breaking, defiance, and destructive acts, among other behaviors. Many further specified subcultures can stem from the broader drug or alcohol culture.
“The need for social acceptance is a major reason many young people begin to use drugs, as social acceptance can be found with less effort within the drug culture” (Center for Substance Abuse Treatment).
Drug culture also holds its own style of communication and language. Common phrases within drug culture include:
• “picking up”- meaning that you are getting more drugs
• “shoot it”- referring to using a drug intravenously
• “chasing the dragon”- trying to get to a certain level of high that is reminiscent of the first high
• “light up”- smoking a drug
• “rail it”- refers to snorting a drug
• “re-up”- getting more of a drug
• “dope sick”- meaning you are experiencing withdrawal symptoms
• “snap crackle pop”- reference to the drug crack
• “bundle”- a 10 bag supply of heroin
• “rig” or “works”- meaning a needle
• “nodding out”- refers to a state of going in and out of consciousness
Other phrases in drug culture are slang terms for different drugs, slang terms for the dollar amount of a drug, and other language. The communication style in drug culture is dependent on who you are talking to, it is common to be short and to-the-point when communicating with a dealer and more social with other friends within the same drug culture.
Sources: Royal Life Centers
Heroin by The Velvet Underground
Heroin by the Velvet Underground is a prime example of pop culture, in this case music, glorifying illegal drugs and addiction:
I don’t know just where I’m going,
But I’m gonna try for the kingdom if I can,
‘Cause it makes me feel like I’m a man
When I put a spike into my vein,
And I’ll tell ‘ya, things aren’t quite the same,
When I’m rushin’ on my run,
And I feel just like Jesus’ son,
And I guess that I just don’t know,
And I guess that I just don’t know.
I have made the big decision:
I’m gonna try to nullify my life.
‘Cause when the blood begins to flow,
When it shoots up the dropper’s neck,
When I’m closing in on death,
And you can’t help me now, you guys,
And all you sweet girls with all your sweet talk,
You can all go take a walk.
And I guess that I just don’t know,
And I guess that I just don’t know.
I wish that I was born a thousand years ago
I wish that I’d sail the darkened seas,
On a great big clipper ship,
Going from this land here to that,
In a sailor’s suit and cap,
Away from the big city
Where a man can not be free
Of all of the evils of this town,
And of himself, and those around.
Oh, and I guess that I just don’t know.
Oh, and I guess that I just don’t know.
Heroin, be the death of me.
Heroin, it’s my wife and it’s my life,
Because a mainer to my vein
Leads to a center in my head,
And then I’m better off than dead
Because when the smack begins to flow,
I really don’t care anymore
About all the Jim-Jim’s in this town,
And all the politicians makin’ busy sounds,
And everybody puttin’ everybody else down,
And all the dead bodies piled up in mounds,
‘Cause when the smack begins to flow,
Then I really don’t care anymore.
Ah, when the heroin is in my blood,
And that blood is in my head,
Then thank God that I’m as good as dead,
Then thank your God that I’m not aware,
And thank God that I just don’t care,
And I guess I just don’t know,
And I guess I just don’t know.
Slang for Illegal Drug Combinations
- 3M—Mescaline, mushrooms (psilocybin) and Molly (crystal Ecstasy)
- A-bomb or atom bomb—Marijuana mixed with heroin
- Amp joint—Marijuana cigarette laced with some form of narcotic
- B-40—Cigar laced with marijuana and dipped in malt liquor
- Back to back—Abuse of heroin followed by crack cocaine or vice versa
- Banana split—Combination of the synthetic 2C-B with other illegal drugs,
especially LSD - Banano—Marijuana or tobacco cigarettes doctored with cocaine
- Bars—Heroin mixed with alprazolam/Xanax
- Basuco—Incompletely refined cocaine paste sprinkled on a marijuana cigarette
- Bazooka—Combination of crack cocaine or unrefined cocaine and marijuana
- Beam me up, Scottie—Cocaine combined with PCP
- Bipping—Snorting heroin and cocaine, either simultaneously or close together
- Black Russian—Hashish and opium
- Buda—High-grade marijuana with crack cocaine added
- Bumping up—Combining Ecstasy with powder cocaine
- C & M—Cocaine and morphine
- Canade—Heroin and marijuana used together
- Candy blunt—Marijuana-filled cigar (blunt) dipped in cough syrup
- Candy flipping—Using LSD and Ecstasy together
- Candy flipping on a string—Combining LSD and Ecstasy or LSD, Ecstasy and cocaine either all at once or in sequence
- Capsizing—PCP and MDMA
- Caviar—Cocaine and marijuana
- Cheese—A mix of black tar heroin and diphenhydramine (most commonly found in Tylenol PM)
- Chasing the dragon—Crack cocaine and heroin
- Chips—Tobacco or marijuana cigarettes treated with PCP
- Chronic—Marijuana mixed with crack
- Clicker—Crack mixed with PCP or a marijuana cigarette treated with dipped in formaldehyde before smoking
- Cocktail—Combination of crack and marijuana
- Cocoa Puffs—Cocaine and Marijuana smoked together
- Crackers—Talwin (narcotic painkiller) and Ritalin
- Crescent roll—Marijuana laced with cocaine
- Crisscrossing—Snorting a line of cocaine along with a line of heroin
- Crunk—Getting high and drunk at the same time.
- Diablito—Crack cocaine and marijuana in a joint
- Dipped joints—Marijuana combined with PCP and formaldehyde
- Dirties/Dirty joints—Marijuana mixed with powder cocaine
- Donk—Marijuana and PCP
- Draf—Ecstasy with cocaine
- Dragon rock—Heroin and crack mixed together
- Dust—Marijuana mixed with various other drugs such as cocaine, heroin or PCP
- Dynamite—Cocaine mixed with heroin
- Eightball—Crack cocaine and heroin
- El diablito—Cocaine, marijuana, heroin and PCP
- El diablo—Cocaine, marijuana and heroin
- Elephant flipping—Use of PCP and Ecstasy with animal anesthetic ketamine
- Ethan—LSD and cocaine
- Fire—Crack and methamphetamine
- Five-way—Snorting heroin, cocaine, methamphetamine, and Rohypnol while also drinking alcohol
- Flamethrowers—Regular cigarettes treated with cocaine and heroin
- Flower flipping—Ecstasy and mushrooms used together
- Frisco special/Frisco speedball—Cocaine, heroin, and LSD
- Fry/Fry sticks—Marijuana cigarettes dipped in embalming fluid or PCP
- Fry daddy—Crack and marijuana mixed and smoked
- Geek-joints—A marijuana cigarette with crack or powdered cocaine added
- Gimmie—Crack and marijuana mixed together
- Goofball—Cocaine and heroin
- Greek—Marijuana and powder cocaine
- H & C—Heroin and cocaine
- H-bomb—Ecstasy and heroin
- Handlebars—Combination of crack cocaine and alprazolam (Xanax)
- Happy stick—Marijuana and PCP in a cigarette
- He-she—Heroin mixed with cocaine
- Herb and al—Marijuana and alcohol
- Hippie flip—Use of mushrooms (psilocybin) and Ecstasy
- Houston cocktail—Hydrocodone, a benzodiazepine like Valium or Xanax, and Soma/carisoprodol
- Hugs and kisses—Combination of methamphetamine and Ecstasy
- Illie/illy—Marijuana dipped in liquid PCP or embalming fluid and then dried
- Jedi flip—Mushrooms, LSD, and Ecstasy
- Jet fuel—PCP use combined with methamphetamine
- Jim Jones—Marijuana treated with cocaine and PCP
- Joy stick—Marijuana treated with PCP
- Juice joint—Marijuana cigarette sprinkled with crack
- Karachi—Heroin, phenobarbital (a sleeping drug), and methaqualone (depressant)
- Killer weed—Marijuana and PCP
- Kitty Bending—Ketamine and benzodiazepines (Xanax, Valium)
- Kitty Boosting—Amphetamine and ketamine
- Kitty Flipping—Ketamine and Ecstasy
- Kitty Tripping—Ketamine and LSD
- Lace—Cocaine and marijuana
- Las Vegas cocktail—Hydrocodone and a benzodiazepine like Valium or Xanax
- LBJ—Heroin plus LSD and PCP
- Liprimo—Marijuana and crack mixed and formed into a cigarette
- Love boat—Marijuana dipped in formaldehyde; a cigar refilled with marijuana
and then dipped in liquid PCP; cigar refilled with marijuana that has heroin added - Love flipping—Mescaline and Ecstasy
- Lucky flip—Ecstasy and synthetic 2C-T-7
- Love trip—Mescaline and Ecstasy
- Lovelies—Marijuana treated with PCP
- Methball—methamphetamine and heroin mixed in one syringe
- Missile basing—Crack and PCP
- Moonrock—Crack and heroin
- Murder one—Heroin and cocaine
- Neon Nod—LSD and heroin
- Nexus flipping—Nexus (the synthetic 2-CB) and MDMA
- Nox—Nitrous oxide and MDMA
- Octane—PCP laced with gasoline
- On the ball—Ecstasy particles added to a bag of heroin
- One and ones—Talwin (narcotic painkiller) and Ritalin
- Oolies—Marijuana cigarettes laced with crack
- Ozone—Cigarette containing marijuana, PCP and crack cigarette
- P-dogs—Cocaine and marijuana
- P-funk—Crack plus PCP
- Pancakes and syrup—Glutethimide (hypnotic drug) and codeine cough syrup
- Parachute—Smoking crack and PCP; smoking crack and heroin
- Parachute down—Using Ecstasy when coming down off heroin
- Party and play—Methamphetamine together with Ecstasy and Viagra
- Party pack—The synthetic 2C-B plus other illicit drugs, particularly Ecstasy
- Pharming—Mixing prescription drugs
- Piggybacking—Simultaneous injecting two drugs; using Ecstasy sequentially to maintain the high
- Pikachu—Pills containing PCP and Ecstasy
- Polo—Heroin and dimenhydrinate (Dramamine)
- Poor man’s heroin—Narcotic painkiller Talwin and Ritalin, injected
- Poro—Heroin plus PCP
- Primos—Marijuana joints treated with crack cocaine
- Quiktrip—Methamphetamine and psilocybin
- Red rock opium/Red rum—Heroin, sleeping pills, strychnine and caffeine
- Ritz and Ts—Ritalin and Talwin, injected
- Robo flipping—Ecstasy and dextromethorphan (cough medication)
- Rompums—Marijuana with Xylazine or other horse tranquilizers
- Sandwich—Two layers of cocaine with a layer of heroin in the middle
- Scramble—Low purity heroin plus crack cocaine
- Screwball—Heroin and methamphetamine
- Serial speedballing—Sequencing cocaine, cough syrup, and heroin over period of days
- Shabu—Powder cocaine and methamphetamine
- Sherman stick—Crack cocaine with marijuana in a blunt (refilled cigar)
- Smoking gun—Heroin and cocaine
- Snowcone—Amphetamine and weed smoked together
- Snow seals—Cocaine and amphetamine
- Space base/Space blunt—Crack dipped in PCP; refilled cigar with PCP and crack
- Space cadet/Space dust—Crack dipped in PCP
- Speedball—Cocaine and heroin; may also refer to methylphenidate (Ritalin) mixed with heroin
- Speedboat—Methamphetamine, PCP, heroin and cocaine or marijuana, PCP and crack smoked together
- Speedkitten—Methamphetamine and ketamine
- Speedies—Ecstasy adulterated with amphetamine
- Spill—Speed and an ecstasy pill in the same line to be snorted
- Splitting—Rolling marijuana and cocaine into a single joint
- Spoke—Speed, crushed Ecstasy pill and coke in the same line to be snorted
- Squirrel—PCP and marijuana that is laced with cocaine and smoked
- Stupor stoning—Drinking alcohol while smoking marijuana
- Sugar flipping—Ecstasy and cocaine
- Super grass—Marijuana treated with PCP
- Super X—Methamphetamine and Ecstasy
- Tar—Smoking crack and heroin
- Tipsy flipping—Alcohol and Ecstasy
- Torpedo—Marijuana and crack
- Troll—LSD and MDMA
- Twisters—Crack and methamphetamine
- Waffle dust—Ecstasy and amphetamine
- Wet/Wet sticks—Marijuana cigarettes soaked in PCP or formaldehyde and dried
- Whack—Heroin and PCP; Crack and PCP
- Wicky—Powder cocaine, PCP and marijuana
- Wild cat—Methcathinone (synthetic similar to methamphetamine) mixed with cocaine
- Wollie/Woo—Adding crack rocks to a marijuana cigarette
- Woola blunt/Woolah- Marijuana and heroin in a refilled cigar
- Woolas—Crack sprinkled on marijuana cigarette
- Woolie—Marijuana and heroin; marijuana and crack cocaine; marijuana and PCP
- Woolies—Marijuana and crack or PCP
- Yerba mala—PCP and marijuana
Dwight D. Eisenhower Vigilance to Preserve the Truth
Supreme Allied Commander Dwight D. Eisenhower had studied his World War II enemy, he was unprepared for the Nazi brutality he witnessed at Ohrdruf concentration camp in April 1945. Bodies were piled like wood and living skeletons struggled to survive. On International Holocaust Remembrance Day, learn how Eisenhower foresaw a day when the horrors of the Holocaust might be denied and hear about his vigilance to preserve its truth…
Brene Brown on Loving with your Whole Heart
“But there’s another way, and I’ll leave you with this. This is what I have found: to let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen; to love with our whole hearts, even though there’s no guarantee — and that’s really hard, and I can tell you as a parent, that’s excruciatingly difficult — to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror, when we’re wondering, “Can I love you this much? Can I believe in this this passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?” just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say, “I’m just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I’m alive.” And the last, which I think is probably the most important, is to believe that we’re enough. Because when we work from a place, I believe, that says, “I’m enough,” then we stop screaming and start listening, we’re kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.”
-Brene Brown.
Anxiety: Can Diet Make a Difference
Anxiety symptoms can make you feel unwell. Coping with anxiety can be a challenge and often requires making lifestyle changes. There aren’t any diet changes that can cure anxiety, but watching what you eat may help.
Try these steps:
• Eat a breakfast that includes some protein. Eating protein at breakfast can help you feel fuller longer and help keep your blood sugar steady so that you have more energy as you start your day.
• Eat complex carbohydrates. Carbohydrates are thought to increase the amount of serotonin in your brain, which has a calming effect. Eat foods rich in complex carbohydrates, such as whole grains — for example, oatmeal, quinoa, whole-grain breads and whole-grain cereals. Steer clear of foods that contain simple carbohydrates, such as sugary foods and drinks.
• Drink plenty of water. Even mild dehydration can affect your mood.
• Limit or avoid alcohol. The immediate effect of alcohol may be calming. But as alcohol is processed by your body, it can make you edgy. Alcohol can also interfere with sleep.
• Limit or avoid caffeine. Avoid caffeinated beverages. They can make you feel jittery and nervous and can interfere with sleep.
• Pay attention to food sensitivities. In some people, certain foods or food additives can cause unpleasant physical reactions. In certain people, these physical reactions may lead to shifts in mood, including irritability or anxiety.
• Try to eat healthy, balanced meals. Healthy eating is important for overall physical and mental health. Eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, and don’t overeat. It may also help to eat fish high in omega-3 fatty acids, such as salmon, on a regular basis.
Changes to your diet may make some difference to your general mood or sense of well-being, but they’re not a substitute for treatment. Lifestyle changes, such as improving sleep habits, increasing social support, using stress-reduction techniques and getting regular exercise, also may help. Be patient, as it may take some time before these changes have an effect on your anxiety.
If your anxiety is severe or interferes with your day-to-day activities or enjoyment of life, you may need counseling (psychotherapy), medication or other treatment.
Sources: Mayo Clinic, Craig N. Sawchuk, Ph.D., L.P.
Mark Bere Peterson’s Counterculture, Urban Legends, Paganism & Witchcraft 